All posts in the dupes category

It was a matter of time! Obama orders drone attack on Fox News!

Published April 14, 2013 by republicanfaithchat

Seriously…I’ve got a GREAT, REPUTABLE SOURCE!

The White House is in crisis mode after accidentally ordering a targeted drone strike on the Fox News Headquarters in New York City. On Thursday, at approximately 2:37 AM, members of the Joint Chiefs alerted President Obama that the Drone Strike System or DSS had activated and that several fully armed drones had been sent to deal with an “immediate threat to national security”. The President, realizing the system’s mistake was able to abort the attack just seconds before missiles would have destroyed the headquarters for the conservative media outlet.

I am awaiting developments!

(psst: you and I know that the source is a satire site. But the dummies whose support we need to keep our tax cuts don’t know this…so make sure that crazy uncle puts this in one of those viral e-mail messages).


Huckabee, Akin: Please shut the H. E. “double hockey sticks” up!!!!

Published August 21, 2012 by republicanfaithchat

This situation is becoming more and more intolerable!

Yes, we needed votes to pass our tax cuts for ourselves; I get that. And yes, a moron vote counts the same as any other votes.

But do the “useful morons” have to make things more difficult than they have to be?

First we have Todd Akin shooting off his mouth about rape. Look, I don’t care what this clown actually believes; we need that vote in the Senate! But does he have to embarrass all of us in public like this?

Mitt is trying to do the right thing by asking him to quit the race.

But can our religious morons leave well enough alone? Oh noooooooo!

The hick from Arkansas (aka Mike Huckabee) has to go out and shoot HIS big trap about rape too.

What the heck is the matter with you Mr. Huckabee? Are you trying to turn our jewelry rattling wives off to our ticket?

Look, I really don’t mind it when you did your “get our idiots” to eat greasy fast food in the name of…well, not sure of what:

It gives the dummies something to do…and if enough of these fatties die early it might help out the Medicare situation.

Less talk about rape and more about tax cuts! Come ON people!!!!

Sarah Palin can keep waiting….

Published July 16, 2012 by republicanfaithchat

Oh please:

On the day that Mitt Romney formally announced his run for the presidency last year, he found himself competing with a stiff New Hampshire wind, which stood his hair on end and played havoc with his microphones. What blew in later was even more distracting: the red, white, and blue bus bearing Sarah Palin on her “One Nation” tour. Palin stole the headlines, and Romney’s buzz, that day (“Coincidence,” she said), and beyond. Through much of the summer, she hovered at the edge of the Republican primary campaign as a shadow candidate, once predicting that she could not only beat Romney, but President Obama, too, before finally declaring herself out of the race last fall.

But Palin continued to vex Romney’s candidacy, questioning his conservatism, encouraging the non-Romneys still in the race, and publicly cheering for the prospect of an open convention. Even after Romney clinched the race in late spring, Palin remained pointedly hesitant about the presumed Republican nominee. She has not yet extended to Romney her full endorsement, and, while she speaks animatedly of the urgency of defeating President Obama in November, her support for Romney derives from the fact that Romney meets Palin’s threshold qualification—as “anybody but Obama.”

Ok, anyone but Obama is good:


Mitt still hasn’t invited Sarah to the GOP’s nomination assembly in Tampa, and the Tea Party is livid. Peter J. Boyer on how the snub could sabotage Romney’s tenuous ties to the grassroots—and why Palin is keeping the week open, just in case.

Sarah: you can just keep waiting. Real Republicans don’t want to have to update their immunizations if people like you are welcomed! Now run along. Shoo.

We had better get the riff-raff in line…..

Published February 8, 2012 by republicanfaithchat

I was on Intrade today and this is what I saw:

This is outrageous! Don’t think that the LIE-beral E-lite aren’t having fun with this.

Why oh why is Willard “Mittens” Romney not getting any love?

Even worse, we find that the riff-raff are revolting against our Anointed One:

In 2010, Christine O’Donnell was a Tea Party favorite and fundraising powerhouse. Two years later, the former U.S. Senate candidate from Delaware is nearly out of money and under fire from her former allies on the grassroots right.

The News-Journal of Delaware reported on Sunday that ChristinePAC, O’Donnell’s political action committee, had only $10,260 cash on hand in December. In the six months before that, according to the group’s financial disclosure forms, only 16 people donated more than $200 dollars to ChristinePAC.

Her prospects may also be dim because of O’Donnell’s faltering relationship with the Tea Party. Grassroots conservatives fueled her primary win in 2010, but many were turned off by her endorsement of establishment favorite Mitt Romney in this year’s GOP presidential race. She also failed to pick up a lucrative gig as a cable news analyst, as many expected she would.

Evan Queitsch, a former O’Donnell volunteer and current candidate for the Delaware state Senate, blasted O’Donnell after the endorsement despite her $600 donation to his campaign.

“Do not insult our intelligence by trying to claim [Romney has] conservative credentials that don’t exist,” Queitsch wrote in a blog post. “How DARE you insult our intelligence by pretending like we haven’t looked at the man’s record.”

Come on!!! The lonely men are resisting our lovely drunken ladybug?

Now even our favorite tranny conservative blonde is coming under attack by those who don’t know their place:

When this shrill harridan decided to support the Mittster, she lost the teahadist wing of the Republican Party. You could find it at freerepublic dot com, but I shan’t link to it here. Wearing my HazMat suit, I’ve selected some of their derision, below, for your amusement and delight. But first, this disclaimer:

Ann Coulter is a woman. While you’ll see quotes from FReepsters that attempt to smear her by calling her a transwoman, this ain’t true. Just as when Ann Coulter called John Edwards a “fag,” slurs based on immutable characteristics such as gender orientation, sexuality, skin color, etc. do not hurt their intended targets in the way they hurt our brothers and sisters who have those characteristics. Anyone who intimates that Ann Coulter is not a woman, in this diary’s comments, will have their comments swiftly hidden (one hopes.) TUs, please help if necessary. I’m sorry to have to write this here, but the history is clear.

Now, onward to the freude!

What a fool she is. When Romney gets what he wants he will dump his whore to the curb like the pimp he is. Ann tried to jump the shark and ended up being eaten by a megalodon which promptly spit her chewed body out because it had no meat on it.


STFU, Ann. You no longer matter to conservatives, you sold out for political expediency and “electability,” what you say no longer matters. Go home and eat a couple of Whoppers and large fries.

Yep! No longer does Ann get to be a skinny, desirable, attractive (to Republicans) woman. Since all women only have value in proportion to their looks, the Republicans now must sentence Ann to get fat.

Even if she believes Romney is the best candidate her shrill all-or-nothing hawking of him has greatly lowered her stock among conservatives.

Shrill? Are you talking about the same Ann Coulter?? heh.

Even worse, we have Clint Eastwood making socialist commercials!

This cannot stand folks; we have to whip the under 100K crowd back into shape; they are getting too big for their britches…and those are usually pretty big britches.

Side note: if you want to cure gay males, have them go to a male locker room when a bunch of the tea party males are in there….yech!

Score One for the Serial Adulterer!

Published January 22, 2012 by republicanfaithchat

From CNN:

Columbia, South Carolina (CNN) — Newt Gingrich won Saturday’s South Carolina GOP presidential primary, marking a stunning turnaround for a candidate who finished fourth in Iowa and New Hampshire and whose campaign had been left for dead — again — by observers just weeks ago.

With about 95% of polling places reporting, Gingrich had 40% of the vote, with former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney getting 27% and former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum getting 17%. U.S. Rep. Ron Paul of Texas had 13%. Based on early returns and exit polls, CNN projected Gingrich the winner.

So for the overall race for the Presidential nomination for God’s Own Party we have:
The Papist Hall Monitor: 1 (Iowa)
The Cultist: 1 (New Hampshire)
The Serial Adulterer: 1 (South of Carolina)

Who, oh who, will be the Anointed One?

What is troubling: why do southern states have such a large say? Really; we are talking about nominating someone who can not only beat Barack HUSSEIN Obama but also keep the prices of our stock portfolios high.

Why can’t the RNC make up some reason to strip the delegates away from the southern states and we just nominate who we want to? It will be no problem getting the South to vote with us in the general; we can plant some black guy in a Fox News press team and arrange for our chosen elected candidate to tell him off on national television. That will wrap up the southern states right there!

Blessed Be Kentucky and South Carolina

Published January 21, 2012 by republicanfaithchat

Kentucky: now this one state that knows its priorities:

I’m going to be a contrarian here. I think the Kentucky legislature has made a perfectly sensible budget decision.

Here’s the deal: in the current budget, a couple of interesting decisions have been made.

Funding for K-12 education: -$50 million

Tax breaks for the Ark Park: +$43 million

Highway improvements for the Ark Park: +$11 million

See? Almost perfectly balanced: all the money handed over to creationists is taken away from education.

That’s right! Sure, you and I might want to send our off spring to Harvard Business School, but the local riff-raff has no need for “that there book-learning”. The Bible is all they need and the “Ark Park” will set them in the right direction!

Education for those who can afford it; that’s what I say.

Last Night’s Debate

I agree; our man, Willard “Mittens” Romney was terrible:

• I was astonished to wake up this morning and read, in this morning’s Wall Street Journal, this assessment of Romney’s performance: “Mitt Romney turned in one of his strongest debate performances, defending his business record and laying into President Barack Obama as aggressively as he has in any previous debate.”

I don’t know Journal writers Patrick O’Connor or Neil King, so I can’t say for sure if they were there last night, but if they were, were they watching the same event as the rest of us? I thought Romney was a disaster and last night very nearly achieved the impossible: sharing a stage with Newt Gingrich and looking like the bigger asshole.

To me, the exchange where he fell overboard mid-answer and had to ask moderator John King what the question was (“But you asked me an entirely different question?”) came close to being an Ed Muskie moment.

The most interesting part of seeing these guys up close is seeing the way people like Rick Santorum and Gingrich respond to Romney in person: They appear to find him physically repulsive, their noses even scrunching up at him when they address him, like cops opening up a trunk with a body in it. And I think it’s real, I don’t think it’s an act. Romney is so totally insincere and calculating and soulless, it physically offends other politicians. It’s incredible to watch.

Of course, it was Newt “the serial adulterer” Gingrich that dropped the biggest bombs and spewed the most (righteous) venom.

And don’t worry, for all of his populist rhetoric (aka “yak-yak”), he is really one of us:

The first implication here is that elites are liberals, not men like Gingrich — whose net worth The Los Angeles Times has estimated to be $6.7 million, who was a history professor, who was paid $1.6 million dollars by Freddie Mac for “advice,” and who had a half million dollar line of credit at Tiffany’s.

If Gingrich isn’t among America’s elite, the word no longer has meaning.

Even the socialistic New York Times knows this! Who cares what our riff-raff the social conservatives think.